You Should Be In More Meetings!

Growing influence as a leader is more about relationships than position.

Real quick, before we get started, if you’ve not downloaded the FREE e-book (How Management Slowly Destroys Leadership) or watched the FREE leadership video resource on my site, be sure to check it out: Leadership and Coaching Resources

Now, back to our idea…

When you rely on positional authority, you negate the better and bigger opportunities gained through relational influence.

I’m pretty sure most leaders wouldn’t disagree with that assessment. We would all rather leverage relational influence than positional authority.

Unfortunately, relationships are more time-consuming to establish than positions. I mean, you had the position the moment you stepped into your office. Your title is probably on the door. Positional authority is easy. And cheap. And too disconnected from the mission and vision to inspire your followers.

It’s going to take time to establish relational influence, but when discovered, this version of leadership can take you, your team, and the organization much further, faster.

You’ll need to meet with people in specific structures to establish a better relationship. Relationships happen in time, over time. You can’t skip the time if you want to build a relationship.

You probably want fewer meetings, but think of these meetings as relational deposits for coming debits.

The size of your staff and organization dictates the specifics of these meetings. I’ll give you three meetings you need to hold regardless of size. You can determine the frequency of each based on your needs, but I’ll make a suggestion.

Meetings To Add or Improve:

ENTIRE STAFF: 2 Staff Meetings per month.

The primary goal of the staff meetings is to celebrate missional success, share stories, and reinforce value-connected behaviors.
The secondary goal is for your entire team to see you as one of them. And you don’t need to lead it every time.

DIRECT REPORTS: Frequency is dependent on position.

These are all regularly scheduled meetings. Below is a sample agenda for each one-on-one meeting.

1. 1. Personal Connection: This is not a time for counseling or to dive into deeply personal issues. There are professional counselors for these conversations. This is a time, however, to engage personally. Ask things like, “How was your weekend?” “Do you have any trips or vacations planned soon?” “How are your kids doing?” Of course, if you’re meeting with someone who is struggling or has experienced tragedy or hardship, it is always appropriate to ask how they are doing. This is kindness. But, you can’t be their counselor or therapist.
   2. Team Questions: If you meet with a team leader, it’s important to ask about their team and their team members. Are there any team-related issues where you can help? Are they struggling with a specific team member? Use this time to mentor your direct report as they lead their team.
   3. Engagement Questions: See the questions in “Create a regular skip-level meeting schedule” below. However, I would recommend you select one question from the list for each one-on-one meeting on a rotation.
   4. Encouragement and Correction: If necessary, one-on-one meetings are the best place for corrective conversations. But don’t forget to provide support and encouragement at this moment, as well.
   5. Closing Question: How can I help? I never end a one-on-one meeting without asking this one question.

SKIP-LEVEL MEETINGS: Try to meet with each person on this level every 4 – 6 weeks.

Rotate meetings with staff members one level below your direct reports to better understand their experiences in the organization. To make these meetings more effective for you and less stressful for them, provide the following list of questions a week before the meeting.

1. 1. What is the best part of your job? What do you enjoy the most?
   2. What is most frustrating about your job? About our organization?
   3. Is it clear what we are trying to accomplish and your role within that?
   4. Is there anything getting in the way of you being able to do your job well?
   5. Is there anything we do that doesn’t make any sense?
   6. What would you change if you could?
   7. If you were me, what would you do differently?

I wrote more about Skip-Level Meetings here, too.

These three meetings: Staff, direct reports, and skip-level, allow you a relational connection deep within your organization. These relationships will gain you influence and eventually help you lead them to places authority alone could never go.

Which one of these meeting versions will be easiest for you to begin with? Which meeting will be the most taxing for you?