When was the last time you listened to a leadership podcast, read a blog, or attended a conference and heard a great leader offer great advice, but walked away thinking it wasn’t for you?
Several years ago I listened as my boss, Andy Stanley, taught a leadership lesson on saying “No for now.” The basis of his teaching was saying “No for now” doesn’t mean “No forever.” According to Andy, as a leader, you should be willing to say “No for now.” He gave examples from his past.
- When he had young children and was asked to speak at other churches or conferences, he declined. “No for now.”
- When he was launching North Point Community Church, he didn’t accept any offers to travel. “No for now.”
- He decided that being home at 4:00pm was best for his wife and family, so for a season, he would not meet with anyone in the late afternoon or evening. “No for now.”
Andy then explained how he can say “yes” to the things today that he consistently declined a decade ago. His season of life has changed. His children are grown. His leadership at North Point requires a different commitment.
In Andy’s mind, saying “No for now” did not mean “No forever.”
There’s one fallacy in this principle: It only works when people are asking you to do things.
You can’t say “No for now” to invitations that aren’t coming your way.
You can’t say “No for now” when nobody is asking you to say yes.
If you’re Andy Stanley, you could say “no” every day to something. But if you’re Gavin Adams…
Andy’s premise was simple and powerful, but I didn’t believe it was me. In fact, I walked away that day hoping to one day be able to say “no for now.” “No for now” was for leaders or pastors who were being given new and exciting opportunities all the time. It was for people who were being asked to do things outside of their main thing. It was for people, well, people like Andy!
My takeaway was not “Gavin, saying no for now doesn’t mean a no forever.” I walked away thinking: “Nobody is asking me to do anything, so if I’m ever asked to preach, consult, or even provide an opinion, I’m not saying ‘no.’ I can’t afford to say ‘no’ right now.” For me, a “no for now” might lead to a “never asked again,” and when you’re a young, growing leader, saying “no” feels like a career blocker, not a career builder.
In many ways I still believe that is true. As long as my priorities are correct and I have my family’s permission, I try to say yes to as much as I can. But just because the world isn’t beating down our door with opportunities doesn’t mean we can’t apply this leadership lesson.
There is one specific way I’ve learned to apply this leadership lesson with robust results, and it applies to every single one of us:
Telling yourself “no for now” doesn’t mean “no forever.”
You are probably the one person who asks yourself to do the most. As a leader, no doubt you have great plans and visions for the future—for your life, your family, your staff, and your organization. Learning to say “no for now” to yourself might be the most important “no” you will ever give to anyone.
This is exactly why I haven’t written a blog in two months.
I told myself “no for now.”
I have been very busy with some other projects. Organizationally, our church is in the middle of constructing our first permanent building. That takes a lot of time and attention. We are hiring new staff to meet the demands of growth. Our leadership team has been working together to plan and project for the future.
Personally, I am working on a book proposal. I’ve never done anything like that, and it’s time consuming. It might not even find a publisher willing to take it on, but it’s an opportunity worth the time. I had an opportunity to preach some in January and March. I really enjoy communicating. It’s something I hope to one-day do more. I was asked to shoot some video messages for our Resources division and our Community Groups team. I enjoy that kind of challenge.
So when it came to blogging, among other things, I decided to say “No for now” to myself. And that “no” is what allowed me to focus on what was most important over the past couple of months.
Saying “no for now” creates space to say “yes.”
If you are like Andy Stanley, with opportunities from others at your doorstep every day, then learn to say “no for now” as you feel it warranted. If you’re like me and the rest of the non-Andy Stanley world, here are a few questions that might be worth considering:
1. Where should I tell myself “No for now?”
2. Where would my spouse/family/staff tell me to say “No for now?”
3. Do I believe saying “no for now” doesn’t mean “no forever?”
4. Where is my “yes for now” limiting my focus for what’s most important right now?
One more thing: Whether you know it or not, you are already saying “no” to things in your life—it just might not be strategic or intentional. By saying “yes” to yourself, no doubt you are saying “no” something or someone else. People like your wife, husband, or children. Maybe your staff is on the side of “no.” Or maybe it’s projects or organizational leadership needs that are not getting your attention.
Even if your time isn’t being solicited on the outside, it’s under constant pressure from the inside. That alone is reason enough to embrace Andy’s idea:
Saying “now for now” doesn’t mean a “no forever”—even when the “no” is said to yourself.
