So We Sang “Let It Go” From Disney’s Frozen in Church!

As a pastor, I hear it all the time – “Why did we play THAT song?” Maybe you do, too. Or maybe you ask it. Every time we begin our church service with a song from a non-Christian radio station, I know it’s coming.

I understand. We recently began our church service by singing these lyrics: “A singer in a smokey room, a smell of wine and cheap perfume. For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on and on.” Okay – seeing it in written form feels a little sketchy (or a ton sketchy!). I may have a few questions for myself, now!

But let me ask you a question: What song is that lyric from? Did you smile as you read them? Or sang them? Are you still singing?

Here’s why we occasionally begin our services with music from Journey or Disney – because people like it. I know, that’s not profound. And I realize it’s certainly not theologically sound, but it is powerful. People like fun, familiar music. And that’s extremely important, because I’m convinced if people don’t like how their church experience begins, odds are they will not like how it progresses or ends.

To say it another way: If we hope to influence people toward their Heavenly Father, we must engage them emotionally in the beginning of our service to engage them spiritually during the service.

So here are five things to consider if we hope to create a church experience that leads people from where they are to where we want them to be an hour later:

Why Are You Hiding?

Have you ever met someone who was truly authentic and transparent? A person who didn’t mind admitting their mistakes, failures, or personal deficiencies? A person who didn’t just KNOW they have gaps, but were open to admitting they have gaps. Take a second and think of someone … I’ll wait. It’s harder to find people like this, isn’t it? There aren’t too many people in our world who are authentic. Sure, we all have a friend or a spouse with whom we can share SOME of who we are, but complete transparency is typically not our default posture.

If you have trouble being transparent, here’s some great news – you are in good company. In fact, from the beginning of time, our defense to being found out was to hide out. The same holds true today.

Genesis 3:10 (NIV); [Adam] answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

The first thing Adam and Eve did after disobeying God was to hide from God. Unfortunately, we’ve been hiding ever since. There is just something in you and me (and apparently in Adam and Eve) that automatically desires to hide from others rather than be honest with others. We so desperately desire to look good that we pretend we are good.

The real irony is pretending and hiding prevents us from experiencing what we are trying to find by pretending and hiding.

He Knew Everybody’s Name. Personalize Your Values, Part 6

There was much to be learned watching Dan Cathy’s surprise visit to a local Chick-fil-A location, but for me personally, this last observation might be the most important:

Leaders connect relationally.
It was quite astounding, but before Dan left the store, he knew everyone’s name. Literally. He personally engaged and learned something about every single customer in the restaurant. Whether this is his natural gifting or not, Dan has cultivated the act of service personalization. It was impressive, to say the least.

Be Careful HOW You Make It Better. Personalize Your Values, Part 5

When I watched the President of Chick-fil-A, Dan Cathy, make a surprise visit to one of their locations, there was a lot to learn. Watching him work the room, serve every customer in the restaurant, refill drinks, and more, was a site to behold. But what I might have loved the most was watching him pick up a napkin from the floor, walk to the nearest trash, throw it away … and move on.

Seems simple. But think about it. How many times have you seen a leader (not you of course, but another leader) see a problem and decide to NOT address it immediately? Sure, some issues need immediate attention, but that bucket is much smaller than many of us tend to think.

I learned this the hard way. As a Lead Pastor, I care immensely about our Sunday morning service experience. When something is not right, I want it fixed. You guessed it – immediately! Early in my time as a leader, I would text staff members incessantly during the Sunday morning experience, pointing out problems, issues, trash, and whatever else I could find wrong. I reasoned they wanted things done with excellence, too, so I was actually helping them.

What I discovered was that my constant evaluation was not winning any points with the team. We all wanted to make it better, but not every moment needed to be a “make it better RIGHT NOW moment.”

Dan reminded me: Leaders make it better … over time.

In this post, I’d love to share three simple ways you and I can makes things better without losing influence and support of our teams.

Thanks for reading!

Throwing Your Weight Around. Personalize Your Values, Part 4

In the previous post, we discussed how every leader should “go first.” By that, in reference to organizational values, we mean that leaders should not just communicate values, they must publicly demonstrate values – consistently. Going first is important – in fact, it’s critical – but leaders cannot just display a value once and consider their work done.

As an organizational leader, it’s oh too easy to forget that “going first” is only the beginning of setting the tone. As John Maxwell has made famous, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” When it comes to the life of organizational values, John’s assertion holds true, as well. But values are only as good as a leaders ability to clarify and consistently demonstrate. That is exactly what Dan does consistently across the Chick-fil-A chain. Here’s what I saw Dan do beautifully:

Leaders set the tone.

Read more to discover the three ways you and I can be tone-setters when it comes to the values we hope to lead.

Should a Leader Always Go First? Personalize Your Values, Part 3

Most organizations have defined values in some shape or form. At Watermarke Church, we have a set of organizational and staff values. These values define our approach and set our strategies. If you do not have a defined set of values, you most likely have values that are just undefined, because every leader has expectations based on some version of internal or intrinsic values.

Like Dan, I have the opportunity to walk around as a leader and observe our church in action most every week. Of course, my organization is spread over a couple of buildings rather than a country, but still. It is so tempting as a leader to walk into an event or Sunday morning environment and evaluate what I see against our organizational values. There is a time for this, but remember what Dan did when he walked in the local Chick-fil-A?

Dan didn’t just evaluate against the value, he personally demonstrated the value. Why? Because:

Leaders go first.

Dan did not enter the store, ask to see the Operator, and instruct him to get out and personally serve customers. Dan just served. Not because he needed to prove a point, but because he wanted to make a difference. Leaders go first.

Here are two specific ways we all need to go first:

Have You Clarified What YOU Value? Personalize Your Values, Part 2

What should the President of Chick-fil-A do when he makes a surprise visit to a local location? When I saw Dan walk in the local Chick-fil-A restaurant a few weeks ago, a single location in a vast chain for which he serves as President, I was full of anticipation. Not because I know him, but because I wanted to see how the local Operator and team members would respond! A surprise visit by any leader can be cause anxiety.

But it was clear that Dan’s visit was different than your average surprise, leadership visit, beginning with his first steps into the restaurant. Dan and Chick-fil-A value the customer experience and servant leadership. I believe they have termed it “Second Mile Service.” When Dan first walked in, it was abundantly clear that:

How Much Can You Learn Over One Lunch? Personalize Your Values, Part 1

This is the first post of six in a leadership series, Personalize Your Values, all based on what I learned watching Dan Cathy’s surprise visit to a local Chick-fil-A restaurant. It’s amazing what you can learn while eating the best chicken sandwich and sweet tea in the world!

Here we go…

I should first tell you: I love Chick-fil-A. My Mom began working in their corporate headquarters when I was 7-years-old, so Chick-fil-A has always been an influence in my life. Not to mention they have the best chicken sandwiches and sweet tea.

The Rules of Tension in Your Message

There is a lot to say about creating and leveraging tension in a message. It has been one of the most fascinating discoveries for me as a communicator. In an earlier post, I discussed the differences between a felt and unfelt tension. In this post, I want to discuss a few critical questions I like to use as a tension filter while developing message content. For me, every message must provide an answer or solution to one of these questions.

1. What is the question this message answers?

Every message (I understand there may be some exceptions) should provide an answer that leads to a point of application. And every answer is built upon a question. If you can identify the question at the center of your solution, you have found your tension. Now, build up that tension in the beginning of your message so you can present the answer to an audience who is ready to hear the solution.

Why Can’t I Let Others Help Me?

It seems everybody in the world made fun of my Atlanta friends and me during the 2014 Snowpocalypse. I can’t blame them. It looked like a snowy scene from The Walking Dead. I can’t imagine how bad an actual zombie invasion will make traffic! Even though I was stuck in the mess for 7 hours myself, I found it funny, too (after I made it home the following day).

After driving for 7 hours, I realized I was not going to make it home. As I began to evaluate my options, sleeping in the car became the most logical choice. In a moment of divine intervention, my wife remembered SHE had just made a friend who lived close to where I was currently stranded. She called and asked one of the weirdest questions of her life – “Can my husband spend the night at your house?” Luckily, I’m a pastor and this family attends our church, so the “don’t you want to help your pastor” ploy was in full effect.