5 Good Reasons You SHOULD Leave Your Church
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Have you ever left a church?
It’s funny to me. As a pastor, when people leave the church I lead, they feel compelled to let me know. Many times they even let me know why – in detail.
In my early days at Watermarke, it seemed every person or family that left the church wanted an “exit interview.” I usually listened, and in most cases, wished them luck at their next church with a smile. Usually my happy demeanor and willingness to let them leave was perplexing to them. I found trying to KEEP frustrated people at the church only cause me frustration, so I smiled and pointed out other great churches in our community.
During these slightly awkward meetings, I always wondered what they expected in return. An apology? A promise to change our church for their preferences? A cookie? Not as much sarcasm?
But seriously…as a lead pastor, when people tell me they are leaving the church, I often find myself excited for them. Or at least excited for me. Sure, there are many bad reasons to leave a church, but there are some great reasons, too. And when I hear one of the good reasons, I smile in return.
If you are considering leaving a church, here are five good reasons to go. Just don’t ask for an exit interview on your way out…
Does The Holy Spirit Like To Plan?
When do you believe the Holy Spirit participates in your church?
At Watermarke Church, our services are very planned and strategically structured. I can already hear the comments building – How can the Holy Spirit possibly participate in a church service that is so planned and organized? What if the Holy Spirit wants the service to continue past an hour? What if God wants to move in the service and change the flow or plan?
Those are great questions. And I can appreciate them all. Unfortunately, I have seen far too many churches allow “room for the Holy Spirit” to become synonymous with “we’re just lazy,” but that does not necessary need to be the case. As a Lead Pastor, I believe we can be both strategic and planned in our services while allowing “room” for the Holy Spirit.
How Andy Stanley’s Surprise Visit Taught Me Something Important
Have you ever been frustrated that you were frustrated?
Sometimes our frustration is understandable. Sometimes only we can understand our frustration.
But then there are those times when we are frustrated, but we know we shouldn’t be frustrated…which makes us more frustrated! This pretty much describes my experience when my boss, Andy Stanley, recently paid Watermarke Church (the campus location where I lead) a surprise visit.
Just a little background. It’s not normal for Andy to be at Watermarke. We still meet in a school, so our ability to export and broadcast messages to our other church locations is limited. When Andy preaches, everyone needs to hear him, so preaching from Watermarke is not optimal at the moment. But on this particular Sunday, Andy was not preaching, so with his off-Sunday, he decided to pay us a visit – an unannounced visit.
The Church DOESN’T Just Want My Money?
“The church just wants my money!”
How do you overcome that obstacle as a church leader?
Undo the past twenty years of Christianity? Too bad that’s not an option! One simple solution is to stop talking about money, which certainly would fix the problem. Of course, that might create many more (unless you aren’t concerned with missing pay cycles!). If you never taught or mentioned money, nobody would complain and nobody would give. Worse, nobody would begin to trust God with their financial life. Yet, when you talk about money, people both complain and leave.
It’s unfortunate the perception exists. But it is for legitimate reasons. We as church leaders have done a terrible job talking about money and stewarding what we’ve received.
Should We Ask Guests at Church to Fill Out Connection Cards?
Do you ask guests to fill out a connection card in your church service?
Growing up in the church, we always had those little cards in the pews or seat-backs. I remember because I spent time in every service making little paper airplanes and passing notes written on the cards.
After graduating from paper airplane manufacturing, while visiting some other churches, I noticed they too had a similar card in their seat-backs. I filled them out occasionally. In most cases, I never heard from the church. In some cases, I heard too frequently.
At Watermarke Church where I lead, we do not ask guests to complete a card or provide us with any information. We do offer a gift at our information tables and specifically welcome guests at the top of our service, but we never ask for anything in return. We don’t publicly recognize them or ask that they identify themselves. For what it’s worth, here are a few reasons we don’t ask guests to complete cards:
6 Ways to Lead a Church When You Don’t Get To Preach
How do you publicly lead a church when you’re a Campus Pastor, not the Senior Pastor?
That’s an ever increasing question. With the rise of multi-site churches, more Campus Pastors are added to leadership circles every day. But leading as a Campus Pastor presents unique challenges. I want to address one of these challenges in this post:
How do you cast vision for your church when you do not preach weekly?
Why Are Christians So Angry?
I couldn’t believe the comments that people posted!
My friends at churchleaders.com recently reposted an article from my blog. They’ve done this a few times. I’m happy to allow them access to anything they believe is helpful. What I wasn’t ready for was the comments that ensued. Wow! I’m glad I have thick skin!
If I remember correctly, I was called a heretic. I believe one person questioned my salvation and even suggested I prayed to Satan. It was suggested that I was ruining God’s church. That was flattering, because I didn’t realize I had that much influence! I engaged with some of the responders, but I quickly realized the futility of open conversation with angry Christians.
How To Ensure Feedback Is Helpful, Not Harmful
Have you ever given great feedback in the wrong way or to the wrong person, virtually negating the feedback in total?
I sure have – like it was my job!
Actually, evaluating and providing feedback IS a huge part of my job. It is an important part of any leader’s job. As a Lead Pastor in a campus location with North Point Ministries, I am constantly evaluating our services, events, and programs. One of our staff covenants is “Make it Better,” so it’s safe to say evaluation and feedback is in our organizational DNA.
While evaluation alone is relatively innocent, the feedback mechanisms that carry our evaluations are ripe for harm – especially if you are a senior leader.
I learned this lesson the hard way a few times (I’m a slow learner). I remember two specifically:
I Start Every Meeting With The Same Question
What happened recently that makes you feel you’re accomplishing your mission and vision?
I love that question. I love it so much I begin every single meeting, lunch, coffee, or gathering at Watermarke with this one question.
At our staff meeting today, I began (as usual) with this question. The answers brought both cheers and tears! Here is a sampling:
One answer involved a brand new unbeliever who had not been to any church in decades. A few weeks ago, she walked into Watermarke for the first time. It just so happened we were launching a new Starting Point group that week, and she decided to give it a shot (you can read more about Starting Point HERE). Her life is changing, and she has not missed a single week of the group! That’s worth celebrating.
Our high school (InsideOut) ministry is at their summer camp. We celebrated how many students and leaders attended this year and what we have already seen happen in some of their lives over the past five days. That’s mission success.
Our elementary team (UpStreet) created an amazing summer competition with our children based on inviting new friends to Watermarke. We shared several of their stories, including some who had invited literally dozens of friends throughout the month of June!
We even shared how a staff member from another campus location came to Watermarke on Sunday morning to help run sound when our sound engineer showed up with a 103 degree fever.
There were several more…
Sure, in every meeting, there are lots of things to cover. And this question can at times take half the meeting. But whether I’m meeting individually with a direct report, with our staff team, or with a volunteer team, I begin the meeting with this one question. Here’s why:
When One Child Changes An Entire Community
Remember Whitney Houston’s song “Greatest Love of All?” The pre-Bobby Brown Whitney. That girl had some pipes!
The song starts with one of the greatest clichés of all time: “I believe the children are our future…” I guess it’s a true statement, even if it’s overused and abused (hence a cliché).
This past week, I traveled to Ecuador with Compassion International. As I left the Atlanta airport (after a 2+ hour delay, of course), I found myself singing Whitney’s song while searching for an open overhead bin for my slightly over packed carry-on luggage.
Compassion International is the real deal. This amazing organization provides hope for children, families, communities, and even countries primarily through their child sponsorship program. They do other things surrounding children, as well (rescuing babies and mothers, developing future leaders, etc.), but the sponsorship program is the flagship of Compassion. You should learn more about Compassion and sponsor a few children. Currently, there are nearly 1.5 million sponsored children around the world. Many more are receiving benefits through the local churches Compassion engages. And many more still need sponsors (hint, hint).
Before I left, I assumed I would experience impoverished communities in the remote areas of Ecuador where Compassion is working through local churches to help individual children. And I did see that. But what I didn’t expect to see was the impact supporting one child has on those surrounding each child.
