6 Things You Can Do Now to Grow More Confident

POINT OF THE POST...

How confident do you feel in your daily life? I suspect there are elements of your day when you feel supreme confidence. There are also aspects or moments in your day where your confidence probably wanes.  When I think about confidence, I tend to think of a person - Samuel L. Jackson. This guy is supremely cool. And confident. At least, I think he is. But he's also an actor playing roles of secure and influential people. Perhaps he lives every day like Jules Winnfield, his character from Pulp Fiction. I doubt it, though, as he'd be in jail for life. What is confidence? Confidence is the faith that you can do something. Self-confidence isn't a guarantee that you'll accomplish a goal or task, but it is a belief that you will. That you can. This means confidence is a feeling even when it's not yet a reality. In this NEW POST, I give you 6 things you can do right now to grow more confident. ONE MORE THING: A lot of churches feel stuck right now. The old models of ministry no longer work. I'm helping churches all over the world understand their communities and design new ministry models for today's church environment. If you'd like to chat, don't hesitate to reach out: [email protected] Thanks!

How confident do you feel in your daily life?

I suspect there are elements of your day when you feel supreme confidence. There are also aspects or moments in your day where your confidence probably wanes. 

Before we work on our confidence, take a second and consider when you naturally feel confident and when you struggle with self-confidence. Do you see any patterns? Do you feel more confident with people or projects? 

What is Confidence?

When you hear the word confidence, what comes to mind. Or better yet, who comes to mind?

When I think about confidence, I tend to think of a person. My mental picture is also the person I’d pick to play me in the movie of my life. My picture of confidence is Samuel L. Jackson. This guy is supremely cool. And confident. At least, I think he is. But he’s also an actor playing roles of secure and influential people. Perhaps he lives every day like Jules Winnfield, his character from Pulp Fiction. I doubt it, though, as he’d be in jail for life.

So back to our question. What is confidence?

Confidence is the faith that you can do something. Self-confidence isn’t a guarantee that you’ll accomplish a goal or task, but it is a belief that you will. That you can. This means confidence is a feeling even when it’s not yet a reality.

Our internal beliefs are highly critical in our life. Beliefs create behaviors that generate results. Take failure as an example. If you believe failure is an opportunity to grow, not a reflection on your ability, your behaviors and future results will reflect this belief. Beliefs drive all of our behaviors. Harnessing this particular belief will lead to better behaviors and outcomes. 

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt

But there is the side of confidence most people miss, and, as you may expect, what’s missed often holds the greatest opportunity for us. Confidence is faith that you can do something. Confidence isn’t a guarantee that you will do it well the first time or that you’ll never stumble along the way. As we said earlier, confidence is faith that you can do something over time, even if that something requires a bit of failure, learning, and growth. 

If past accomplishments dictated our confidence, our confidence would only grow, change, or evolve as our outcomes occurred. But confidence isn’t limited to a belief in your past self. Confidence must also live in our hearts as faith that we can figure out what is facing us. That we can learn, grow, and improve. Therefore, we can experience confidence in a future project, task, or client presentation when we begin believing we can learn, grow, and improve from previous experiences.

Without this perspective on confidence, insecurity festers and fears form.

6 Things You Can Do Now to Grow More Confident

1. Be hyper honest with yourself.

It can be challenging to receive feedback, mainly because we focus on the criticisms and pass off complements. However, feedback is a primary tool for growth, and growth is a primary driver of future confidence. When someone offers feedback, listen and learn what you can. Don’t see their feedback as a judgment of your worth, but only of your performance.

Also, pay more attention to compliments. Complements are perhaps your best tool for understanding your strengths. When you blow off a compliment, you miss an opportunity to learn about yourself.

Question: How are you intentionally or unintentionally deceiving yourself?

2. Take more risks.

Failure isn’t your enemy. Fearing failure is what truly cripples people. Every wildly successful person has been afraid. Yet, they continued working and taking risks along the way. Successful people take risks, allow for failure, and remain confident that growth is as positive as success. 

Failure is inevitable when you try new things. But failure highlights growth opportunities, making failure a positive opportunity for better future results. In a way, confidence is becoming comfortable in situations that would make most people feel uncomfortable

Question: What is one small, uncomfortable risk you can take this week?

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

Take a moment and think about how your friends make you feel. Do your friends lift you up, or do they bring you down? Are they constantly judging you, or do they accept you for who you are?

The people you spend time with influence your thoughts and attitudes about yourself. Even the people who claim they don’t care about others’ opinions care on some level. To care is proof of our humanity. If the people around you tear down others, they’ll bring you down, too.

Question: What do those closest to you add to your life?

4. Set clear goals.

Many people do not set goals for fear they’ll not accomplish the goal. That’s living out your personal self-fulfilling prophecy. Setting goals is essential for gaining confidence. Goals fuel growth. When you achieve a goal, you gain results-oriented confidence. When you fail at a goal, you create space to learn and try again.

The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is to break them into smaller goals while monitoring your progress. Monitoring progress is the secret to goal success. Whether you’re trying to get promoted, get a better job, get into graduate school, change careers, eat healthier, or lose 10 pounds, the best way to know if you’re making progress is to monitor it.

Question: What is one new goal you need to set in your life today?

5. Get things done.

Accomplishments build confidence. Remember, accomplishment can be a failed attempt that leads to growth. Every time you accomplish a task or grow from a failure, you gain confidence.

Question: What is one thing you can do this week that will produce noticeable results?

6. Be kind to yourself.

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness when you make a mistake, fail, or experience a setback. It allows you to become more emotionally flexible and helps you better navigate challenging emotions, enhancing your connection to yourself and others. Life is persistently challenging. It is impossible for you never to fail unless you refuse to try. Deciding in advance to be kind to yourself creates the conditions you need to take more risks.

Question: What area of your life do you tend to show yourself a lack of grace?

Final Thoughts…

I’ve found it interesting to gauge my confidence throughout my week. Asking myself questions about my feelings helps me determine what is helping or harming my internal confidence. Since we can’t fix what we can’t name, this kind of introspection is particularly beneficial. Perhaps you can use something as simple as this Confidence Gauge to help you determine how activities, tasks, and interactions affect your self-confidence.

To use this gauge, as yourself these three questions:

  1. How do I feel before this activity, task, or interaction?
  2. How do I feel after?
  3. What can I do next time to feel more confident?

How can I help?

Most of my clients consider me their CSO (Chief Strategy Officer). Partnering with ministry and marketplace leaders from innovation through implementation is why I created Transformation Solutions. I’m dedicating my time to helping leaders like you discover potential problems, design strategic solutions, and deliver the preferable future. That includes you.

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