Let’s continue the last post conversation…

Every leader eventually faces a decision they already understand but struggle to make.

The staff member who needs to transition. The program that should have ended two years ago. The campus that never gained traction. The direction that made sense in 2019 and makes no sense now.

You have the information. You have run the numbers. You have prayed about it more than anything else on your plate this year.

And you are still stuck.

The Problem Is Rarely the Decision

Hard decisions stall for a specific reason: entanglement.

You hired him. You launched it. You cast the vision from the stage and asked people to give toward it. You have history with everyone involved, and history has weight.

Emotion makes you human. It also changes what you can see. You stop evaluating the decision and start evaluating what the decision says about you, your past judgment, and your relationships.

That is the fog. Every stalled decision sits inside it.

Pastors feel this more than most leaders. You are a shepherd and strategist at the same time, and the people affected by your hardest decisions are the same people you visited in the hospital. Proximity is a gift on Sunday and a liability on Monday when the decision involves someone you love.

A Question That Cuts Through

You’ve probably heard this anecdote, but it’s worth repeating. In the mid-1980s, Intel was getting crushed in the memory chip business, the very business the company was built on. Andy Grove turned to Gordon Moore and asked what would happen if the board pushed them out and brought in a new CEO. What would that leader do?

Moore answered without hesitating. He would get Intel out of memory chips.

Grove’s response became one of the great leadership moments in business history. Why don’t we walk out the door, come back in, and do it ourselves?

They did. Intel exited its founding business and bet everything on microprocessors.

Notice what the question accomplished. Grove and Moore already knew the numbers. The question stripped out the entanglement.

Here is the version for your desk: What would my replacement do?

Your replacement would inherit your problems without inheriting your emotions.

Why It Works

The next leader carries none of your history. Consider what they would bring to your hardest call:

• No memory of the launch service
• No name on the vision document
• No relational debt
• No sunk cost
• No reputation tied to the original call

They would look at the stalled ministry and see a stalled ministry. They would look at the underperforming staff member and see a role, a gap, and the cost of another year of hoping. They would decide in their first month what you have been circling for a year.

That should bother you. The clarity already exists. You are standing between it and the decision.

Run It This Week

Pick the decision you have been avoiding. You know which one. It surfaced in your mind four paragraphs ago.

Then work through this sequence:

1. Write the decision at the top of a page in one sentence.
2. Answer honestly: what would the leader who replaces me do about this in their first 90 days?
3. Write down the gap between that answer and your current plan.
4. Name what is creating the gap. A relationship. A fear. A reputation concern. Get specific.

The gap is your entanglement, finally written down where you can see it.

Then take Grove’s move literally if you need to. Walk out of your office. Walk back in. Sit down as the new leader and schedule the first conversation this decision requires. Put it on the calendar before Sunday.

One caution here. The replacement question clarifies the decision while you still control the delivery. Your replacement would make the call without your emotion, and you get to execute it with your compassion. That combination is the actual advantage of staying. Make the decision like a stranger, then deliver it like a shepherd.

The Cost of Circling

Here is what happens if you keep waiting. The decision gets made anyway, because delay is a decision. The struggling ministry keeps consuming budget and volunteer energy. The wrong-seat staff member keeps shaping culture every week they remain.

Your best leaders are watching too. They see you avoid what everyone already sees, and they quietly recalibrate what they believe you are willing to confront.

Eventually, someone will make the decision you should have made. It might be a successor. It might be a board. The only question is whether the clarity arrives while you still hold the seat to act on it.

The clarity already exists. Ask the question.

And if you want a partner to think through the decision you just wrote at the top of that page, that is exactly the work we do inside the Leadership Lab. You can also email me directly at gavin@gavinadams.com. I read every one.

Quotes to Share

• “Your replacement would inherit your problems without inheriting your emotions.”
• “Delay is a decision.”
• “Make the decision like a stranger, then deliver it like a shepherd.”

Helping You Add More Intention To Your Mission,
Dr. Gavin Adams