You already know the decision I’m talking about.
It’s the one sitting on your desk right now. The staffing change you’ve been circling for months. The program that should have ended last year. The conversation you keep rescheduling in your head.
You’re a capable leader. You’ve made hard calls before. But this one feels different, and you can’t quite explain why.
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of pastoring and coaching pastors. The fog around the decision is the real problem. And fog responds to the right question.
The Question That Cuts Through
The first time I heard it, it came from Andy Stanley. If I remember correctly, a mentor had asked him a question that reframed everything:
What would a great leader do?
That’s it. Five words.
Sit with a stalled decision and ask it honestly. Watch what happens. The clutter clears, the emotions step back, and the mess starts organizing itself.
You know the answer almost immediately. That’s the uncomfortable part.
Why You’re Actually Stuck
Most stalled decisions are proximity problems.
You know the staff member’s family. You remember who started that ministry and what it cost them. You’ve watched the history unfold from the inside. You carry the relationships, the backstory, and the loyalty.
All of that is real. None of it changes what needs to happen.
Proximity creates empathy. It also creates paralysis. The closer you are to a decision, the thicker the fog gets, and you start managing feelings instead of leading forward.
The pressure you feel is the gap between what you know and what you’re willing to do.
A Better Version of an Old Question
In the previous post, we asked a similar question: What would my replacement do?
It’s useful. Your replacement would walk in without the history. They’d see the org chart, the budget, and the program calendar, then act within the first ninety days. Clean. Fast. Detached.
Detachment is also the weakness of that question. Your replacement would act without the relationships. A great leader carries those relationships into the decision and still makes it.
That’s the distinction that matters. Asking what a great leader would do lets you stay connected to the people, the history, and the weight of it all while doing what must be done. You can keep your heart and still make the call.
A great leader would move forward. A great leader would pause the thing that’s draining the mission. A great leader would have the conversation this week, with kindness and with clarity.
Why the Question Works
Notice what the question does.
It skips right past what’s comfortable, what keeps the peace, and what you can defend in the next elder meeting. It aims at greatness. And greatness has a way of exposing our real hesitation.
When you ask what a great leader would do, you separate two things that usually stay tangled: knowing and doing. Most of us carry plenty of knowing. What we need is the courage to act on it.
The question forces the separation. Once you’ve named what a great leader would do, confusion is off the table. The only thing left to claim is avoidance.
That’s why it works.
Do This Soon
Here’s the move.
- Take the decision you’ve been avoiding (you thought of it in the first paragraph) and write this at the top of a blank page: What would a great leader do?
- Answer it in one sentence. Honestly. No qualifiers.
- Schedule the first step. Put the meeting, the conversation, the announcement, or the ending on the calendar before Sunday.
- Tell one trusted person what you’re doing and when.
The question gives you clarity, and the calendar turns that clarity into accountability.
What It Costs to Keep Waiting
Every week you delay a decision you’ve already made internally, you pay for it twice. You pay in the problem itself. The misaligned staff member keeps misaligning, the dying program keeps consuming resources, and the hard conversation keeps getting harder. You also pay in your own credibility, because your team already sees what you see, and they’re watching to learn whether you’ll act on it.
Stalled decisions compound. The mission absorbs the cost quietly, every single week.
You already know what a great leader would do.
Do that.
Quotes to Share
- “The pressure you feel is the gap between what you know and what you’re willing to do.”
- “Proximity creates empathy. It also creates paralysis.”
- “You can keep your heart and still make the call.”
Helping You Add More Intention To Your Mission,
Dr. Gavin Adams
