This Might Be The Most Important Preaching Principle I’ve Learned

This might be the most important preaching principle I’ve learned.

Before I tell you the lesson, though, let me walk you through my process of discovery:

When I first began preaching, I took an entire manuscript on stage. It was a pastoral security blanket – except not pink and fuzzy. I tried not to read it directly, and in most cases, I was successful. But in my mind, it was good to know it was there… just in case I needed to snuggle.

Unfortunately, as I watched my messages the next day (it’s awkward, but you should do this if you don’t already!), I felt my preaching was lacking an important ingredient – CONNECTION. I was communicating all the content. I didn’t miss any stories, illustrations, points, or verses. But as I watched myself, I realized something significant:

Great content without great connection is poor communication.

And that was my problem. I communicated clear content without any relational connection, and it wasn’t working.

As I diagnosed my lack of connection, the problem became apparent:

9 Tips To Improve Your Church’s Welcome Segment

How much attention do you give the welcome segment in your church service?

If you are like most churches, the answer is little to none. I mean it’s only a few minutes, anyway. How much time should we spend planning something so short and insignificant? And isn’t a “welcome” just a transitional element so the band or choir can get ready?

You might be shocked to see how much time at Watermarke Church we spend evaluating the welcome. It is only a 3-minute segment of our 60-minute service, but like every facet of our service, we desire it to be excellent, intentional, and strategic. We discuss every phrase we use. We evaluate the energy we bring. We consider how our words might be heard or interpreted by guests and non-Christians. In some ways, communicating a 3-minute welcome at Watermarke is as stressful as the 35-minute message!

Sunday School vs. Small Groups: Why You Must Choose

Do you love small groups?

Not necessarily YOUR small group, but the idea of small groups? If you’re a pastor, you might be required to answer “yes.” So here are a few, better questions:

Do you love your small group strategy?
Is your church excited about small groups?
Are people joining your small groups?

As a pastor, I recognize community is a vital element of spiritual growth, yet it can be difficult to convince the crowd at our church of this truth, and even more difficult to convert the disengaged into active group participants.

Here’s the reality every pastor understands all too well: Engaging people in small groups can be a battle. Unfortunately, many churches are their own worst enemy. While there might not be one secret sauce to moving people out of rows and into circles (that’s our church’s terminology), there are some definite ways to thwart and undermine your attempts.

Here’s a small group enemy short list:

1. Competing programs.

If you want to run Sunday School, that’s fine, but don’t expect Sunday School and small groups to thrive in tandem. I have a definite (and experienced-based opinion) on Sunday School. I’ll save that for later. But for now, let’s acknowledge and important, strategic fact: Sunday School creates competition for small groups. I know some churches attempt to create small group systems within their Sunday School context, but that’s not ultimately realistic – especially if authentic community matters.

Go Ahead… Say It Out Loud: “I Don’t Know”

Are you comfortable with the phrase, “I don’t know?”

I’m not … but I’m learning to familiarize myself quickly. Luckily, leading a growing organization provides many opportunities to practice!

I used to avoid this statement like I avoided waking up for my 8am Art History class in college (I never went!). I’m becoming more comfortable today, though. It’s not that I know less today than a few years ago. At some point my age may cause that to be true. Rather, I’m just becoming more comfortable accepting and acknowledging what “I don’t know.”

Here is the problem. When I was a younger leader, I assumed admitting my lack of insight would undermine my leadership influence. I wanted to be seen as a thought leader. I wanted the promotion. I wanted the next opportunity. And I believed the path to the leadership promise land was paved by answers, expertise, and confidence.

Unfortunately, pretending to know all the answers led me to over-promise and under-deliver. In case you don’t know, that’s NOT the best method to promotions and opportunities.

Church For The Unchurched Versus Church Unchurched People Love To Attend

Often, when people in the community talk about Watermarke Church, a similar comment can be heard: “It’s a church for unchurched people, right?.” When I hear that comment, I’m find myself both excited and frustrated.

EXCITED: Excited because we ARE a church where unchurched people can and frequently do attend. In fact, our surveys show roughly 40% of our attendees were “unchurched” prior to attending (unchurched = not regularly attending any church for five years prior to attending Watermarke). Excited because people in our community see our church as a place an unchurched person can come to church. Many people who attend OTHER churches invite their unchurched friends to OUR church. That’s exciting (and weird). I’m not sure why anyone would attend a church where they couldn’t invite their unchurched friends!

FRUSTRATED: But that’s statement is a little frustrating, too, because we are NOT a church for unchurched people. Better said, we are not JUST a church for unchurched people. We are a church unchurched people love to attend. We are also a church church-people love to attend – especially church people who have a desire to reach the unchurched. There’s a significant difference between a “church for the the unchurched” and a “church unchurched people love to attend.”

Here’s a few key differences:

A Day In The Life of a Non-Preaching Lead Pastor

As a pastor, there’s one question I get a lot. Well, there are actually many questions I get a lot. But here’s one I’m guessing most people want to ask:

What does your typical workweek look like?
That’s the “nice” way of asking what people really want to know – “What do you DO all week?!?”

Every pastor gets that question from time to time. Some more frequently than others. As a Lead Pastor in a church where the majority of our preaching is video driven, I would fall within the “more frequently” category! What does a Lead Pastor who only preaches 15 times a year do all week? How is that even a full time job?

It’s a great question. Some people assume I show up on Sunday, welcome them to church, pray for the offering, and then pray and read the Bible for the next six days. As a pastor, I wish it were that easy. That actually sounds appealing! Leading a church of any size or kind is challenging. A Lead Pastor must be both a pastor and a savvy business leader (hence the position title, huh?).

If you’ve ever wanted to know what a Lead Pastor (especially a non-preaching Lead Pastor) does all week, here’s a list of 8 unique tasks I try to accomplish every 7 days…

When What You Want To Do is Different Than What You Need To Do

What makes leadership difficult?

We could probably create a laundry list of great answers.

For me, point decision-making certainly fits on the list. A level of decisiveness is required for leadership, but while some decisions are routine and simple, others are unfamiliar and complex. For me, the most difficult decisions rise when what I want to do is different than what I need to do.

Have you ever faced a decision that lived in the middle of this tension? Through my years of leading companies and churches, I’ve faced more than a few decision where what I wanted to do was different than what I needed to do. For instance, there have been times I’ve wanted to keep a staff member, but they needed to move on to new opportunities (that’s a nice way to say it, right?). There have been times I’ve wanted to include everyone on a team, but not everyone provided value to the team. There have been times when I wanted to eat chicken fingers rather than a salad (see, it works in all facets of life!).

I believe the willingness to make tough decisions is a key indicator of sustainable leadership.

Should We Make Church Less Weird?

Do you consider your church service weird?

Most of us church people don’t, because we are church people and it’s our service. And honestly, as church people, we are just used to the weirdness. But when an unchurched person attends your church, odds are they will encounter a few things they consider strange, such as:

1. Worship
If your church sings songs about God, Jesus, Heaven, and the like, it is probably weird to outsiders. Imagine walking into a large room where people are collectively standing and singing songs about blood, healing, and praising an invisible God who we trust with our life even though he apparently is more concerned with being praised than giving us what we want. That’s what we sing. Come on… that’s strange.

2. Sitting and Standing (and maybe Kneeling)
At most churches, we stand up at times, sit at others, and it’s nearly impossible to know which is which if you’re new. Weird. It can feel like a child in a dance recital who is always one step behind.

3. Responsive Reading
I’ve not participated in this for a while, but imagine being an unbeliever, being asked to repeat “truths” about a God you aren’t sure even exists? Strange.

4. Communion
Is it a mid-morning snack? Is it wine or juice? Not to be irreverent, but it’s weird.

5. Baptism
Maybe the weirdest of all! Adults allowing other adults to dunk them under water. That was fun in middle school, but as an adult? And if you wear robes, forget it! That’s even worse!

That’s only touching the surface. When we sit back and think about our church services, it’s pretty obvious that for an outsider or guests, experiencing what we consider normal can feel anything but.

So how do you make a church service friendly for an outsider without compromising the truth of Scripture or the traditions you hope to maintain?

But They Never Forget How You Make Them Feel.

Have you ever worried about saying the wrong thing?

As a pastor, I find myself facing many situations where I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing. Sure, there’s an occasional slip in a sermon or stage announcement, but the place where my words find the most fear is hospitals and funerals. When you’re a pastor, walking into a time of great struggle or grief is a privilege, but when people look to you as an extension of God, it carries an unfair weight.

I hate to admit this, but I use to practice what I wanted to say before walking into an emotionally charged, grief stricken environment. I was so scared that I would misrepresent God, or simply misrepresent all of humanity, that I would practice lines like I was on a date. After all, what can you say to a husband who just lost a wife, or to a parent who’s child is suffering? What should you say when people are expecting your words to bring comfort or peace?

There are no mulligans in these moments, and I learned a few valuable lessons the hard way. Most importantly, I learned this powerful principle:

People rarely remember what you say, but they never forget how you make them feel.

That might be worth reading again.

With that principle in mind, here are a few things I try to remember when I’m facing a “pastoral moment.” Whether you’re a professional Christian or not, you can do this, too…

“Slow Down” And Know That I Am God

Do you have a love-hate relationship with stillness?

I sure do! To me, the concept of “stillness” is attractive, yet unproductive. I love to get things done. I like to work hard. I like to accomplish stuff. Which brings me to a piece of Scripture from David that has always bothered me. If I could remove a verse from the Bible, Psalms 46:10 might be in my top 10.

I wish Psalms 46:10 read “Slow down, and know that I am God.” It doesn’t. It says, “Be still,” but slowing down seems like a better choice – or at least an option to catch my breath before getting something else accomplished. Being still is difficult for me. It’s counterintuitive. I’m a progress addict, so the thought of being still makes me nauseous. How can I make progress if I’m busy not being busy?

I’ve spent much of my life believing that progress and productivity is correlated to pace. I’ve heard people claim that being busy didn’t necessarily equal productivity (work smarter, not harder, they would always say), but in the end, I thought those people were just a tad lazy. The kind of people who looked forward to taking naps more than making a difference (BTW – I hate naps!). While I now realize that is not completely true, I still have a hard time completely trusting that stillness is helpful or necessary.