Have you ever poured your heart into a project only to be let down by the very people you expected to support you?
That’s quite a letdown question to begin this conversation, but it’s a reality we as leaders must face.
As leaders, it’s tough to face the reality that sometimes, despite our best efforts, people just don’t show up or come through or do what we expect.
Recently, I worked with a leader raising funds for an important project. They had a solid donor base, executed a well-thought-out campaign, and the project itself was critical. But when the pledge deadline passed, the results were underwhelming. Needless to say, this leader was frustrated.
I get it. I’ve been there too. When I launched my book, Big Shoes to Fill, I thought I had everything in place. I contacted my contacts, did the marketing, and even had friends promote it on their platforms. Despite all the effort, the sales were…well, let’s say a fraction of what I expected. Even my closer friends didn’t buy it. Talk about disappointing.
But here’s the thing: disappointment, while painful, can become a powerful leadership tool.
Taking the “L” in Leadership
When your people don’t come through, it feels like a loss. You’ve put in the energy, the vision, and the hard work, but your team or supporters are indifferent. It’s demoralizing, no question.
However, it’s important to realize that these moments are part of leadership. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, people don’t respond the way we expect. When that happens, it’s essential to avoid personalizing the failure and, instead, see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Evaluating Disappointment
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “The only failure is a failure to learn.” It’s easy to brush off when you’re in the middle of disappointment, but this wisdom holds true.
Here are a few takeaways that can help turn that feeling of failure into a leadership win:
1. People Will Disappoint You
It’s an unavoidable fact of leadership: people are going to let you down. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, they just won’t engage the way you’d like. And it hurts—especially when you’ve worked hard to create something meaningful. But remember, you’re not alone in this. We all disappoint others at some point too.
2. Participation Is a Barometer of Engagement
When people don’t engage, it’s a wake-up call. As I learned with my book, not everyone on your email list or in your circle is truly engaged. Their lack of participation is a reflection of their involvement, not necessarily of your effort.
3. Lack of Participation Is Data
Not only does low participation reflect engagement, but it also provides a crucial datapoint. Organizations often mistake a large audience for an engaged audience. A campaign like a fundraiser or book launch quickly reveals the truth. You get an accurate measure of who’s really with you and who’s just along for the ride.
4. Let Disappointment Refine Your Focus
Instead of letting disappointment discourage you, use it to sharpen your focus. After my book launch, I stopped focusing on growing my email list and started focusing on growing engagement. I learned that the numbers mean little if only a fraction of the audience is active.
Turning Disappointment Into Growth
It’s tough to turn disappointment into a learning moment, but that’s exactly what you need to do as a leader. People will fail you, but how you handle those moments determines your long-term effectiveness.
Disappointment should be seen as an opportunity to recalibrate. Use it as a learning tool to better understand your people and create strategies that will engage them moving forward.
Conclusion
We all experience disappointment in leadership, but it’s how we handle it that sets us apart. Don’t let these moments define you. Instead, use them to refine your leadership, grow your engagement, and learn how to lead more effectively.
Call to Action:
If you’ve been feeling the sting of disappointment lately, don’t let it derail your leadership. Instead, turn it into a powerful learning moment that propels you forward.
Quotes for Inspiration:
- “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford
- “Disappointment is inevitable. But defeat is optional.” – John C. Maxwell
Resources for Further Learning:
- The Lean Startup by Eric Ries
- Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
- Leadership Pain by Samuel Chand
- Go ahead and buy Big Shoes To Fill so I’ll feel a bit better! It’s on SALE for ONLY $13.53.
One More Thing…
If you found this helpful, please pass it along to other leaders (and encourage them to subscribe!).
If you’re ready to accelerate your leadership, I’d be honored to help. Visit gavinadams.com to explore my systemic approach to leadership development and schedule a 30-minute conversation.
If you’re a church leader, be sure to visit the Church Accelerator Community.
Leading With You,
Gavin Adams
