How Tired Do You Really Feel?
It’s easy for leaders to accept the exhaustion that comes with constant decision-making and people management. We tend to chalk it up as “part of the job.” But how often do we pause to question if this is a sustainable mindset?
For years, I did just that. In my most recent role, I led a church staff of 65, overseeing a congregation of 6,000 to 8,000 every Sunday. The emotional and mental toll felt unending. Church leadership, with its unique set of challenges, brings expectations from an entire community. Everyone has hopes, needs, and opinions on how things should run.
For a long time, I wore my relentless tiredness as a badge of honor, a sign of dedication. But eventually, the exhaustion caught up, and I reached my limit. I was nearly ready to leave ministry leadership for good when I took a month off to rest, reflect, and consider my options.
Time Off vs. Time On: What Really Needed to Change?
That month away was a turning point, but not in the way I expected. I learned that time off wouldn’t fix the problem. I needed a reset—not in the hours I worked, but in how I led myself.
Leading Yourself First: The Foundation of Sustainable Leadership
During that month, I discovered that leading others well starts with leading myself well. While I focused on managing a team and meeting responsibilities, I neglected to manage myself. The exhaustion wasn’t only from the workload; it was rooted in how I approached my leadership and well-being.
Self-leadership isn’t just about time management; it’s about building habits and boundaries that sustain us. It’s about setting an example, not just in our work but in our personal lives.
I began to ask myself tough questions:
- Was I prioritizing time based on my values?
- Did I set boundaries that allowed for true renewal?
- Was I leading in a way that would sustain me long-term, or only for a season?
Time Off Won’t Heal What Time On is Hurting
One of the biggest lessons from that month off was realizing that rest doesn’t come only from time away; it comes from how we spend our time “on.” I could take breaks, but if I returned to the same habits, the cycle of exhaustion would repeat.
To make lasting changes, I needed to redefine how I engaged with my work. This meant being intentional with my priorities, setting boundaries, and aligning choices with my values instead of reacting to the latest urgent task. Real, sustainable leadership happens when our “time on” aligns with who we are.
Why Time Management Isn’t the Solution to Leadership’s Weight
For years, I relied on time management hacks, filling my schedule with strategies for efficiency. And while time management can help with organization, it doesn’t lighten the weight of leadership.
Leadership carries a unique emotional and mental weight. There’s the weight of decisions, setbacks, and caring for others while moving the organization forward. Time management kept me organized but did nothing for the inner strain of that responsibility.
To handle the weight of leadership, I had to create a support system, delegate, and build habits that kept me connected to my purpose. Efficiency alone wasn’t enough; I needed to share the load, focus on what mattered, and let go of the pressure to be perfect.
5 Practical Steps for Sustainable Leadership
If you’re ready to lead sustainably and prevent burnout, here are five practices that helped me shift from simply surviving to leading with resilience and purpose:
1. Set Non-Negotiable Boundaries
Identify what’s essential for your well-being—time with family, personal quiet time, regular exercise—and protect it. Let work fit around your priorities, not the other way around.
2. Conduct Weekly “Time Audits”
At the end of each week, reflect on how you spent your time. Which tasks energized you, and which ones drained you? Are there responsibilities you’re holding that someone else could manage? Weekly reflection can reveal patterns and areas for adjustment.
3. Reevaluate and Reprioritize Regularly
Leadership brings constant demands, and it’s easy to get lost in the urgent. Step back regularly to assess your priorities. Align your daily tasks with your core values and long-term goals, staying focused on what truly matters.
4. Build a Support System
Find mentors, colleagues, or a trusted group of peers who understand the pressures of leadership. A supportive network provides encouragement, perspective, and a reminder that you’re not alone in carrying the load.
5. Lean Into Your Purpose
Remember why you started. Leadership isn’t about endless tasks; it’s about making an impact. Keep your purpose in focus to lighten the load and bring renewed meaning to your work.
Lead Yourself Well to Lead Others Well
As leaders, we often pour our energy into the people we lead and the goals we pursue. But lasting leadership starts with leading ourselves well. When we prioritize our health, set clear boundaries, and stay aligned with our purpose, we build a foundation that lets us lead from a place of strength and clarity.
Leadership will always carry a weight, but when we approach it with intentionality and care, it becomes a weight we can bear—and thrive under.
One More Thing…
You’re probably aware of our Church Accelerator Community. All our Partners have unlimited access to our resource section, full of courses, frameworks, supporting documents, and our new Custom AI tools (Sermon Outline Creator, Sermon Evaluator, Small Group Question Writer, and more).
Partnership starts at $149, which gets you about $5,000 in resources. Don’t wait. Become a partner today.
Check out the Strategic Partner and Community Partner options if you’d like personalized coaching for you, a staff member, or your church. I limit the number of these options to maximize my investment in each church and pastor. Let me know if you are interested.
Leading With You,
