What Happens When Accountability Feels Positive?
Accountability. Just hearing the word can make you bristle. Maybe it sparks memories of stern teachers, a disappointed parent, or micromanaging bosses. Too often, accountability is tied to punishment, shame, or failure—hardly the environment you want for your team. And hardly the leader you want to be.
But here’s the truth: accountability doesn’t have to feel like a trip to the principal’s office. When done well, it can be transformative—even inspiring.
The secret?
Shifting the narrative from confrontation to constructive conversation.
The Struggle With Accountability
Let’s be honest: most people struggle with giving or receiving accountability. Why is it so hard?
- We fear conflict. Confronting someone about their performance or behavior feels risky—it might damage the relationship.
- We want to be liked. Nobody wants to be “the bad guy.”
- We associate accountability with punishment. Years of conditioning often equate “being held accountable” with being in trouble.
These fears lead to avoidance, poor communication, and, ultimately, teams that stagnate. But what if we flipped the script?
Accountability as a Positive Force
Accountability isn’t about catching people making mistakes; it’s about helping them grow. Done right, accountability is an act of kindness. It communicates, “I believe in you enough to have this conversation because I know you can do better.”
To transform accountability into a positive force, you need a roadmap—a framework that turns confrontation into constructive, growth-oriented dialogue.
The 5 Steps of Accountability
Here’s a step-by-step guide to fostering open communication, trust, and improvement without fear or shame:
Step 1: Kind Comment
Start small and casual. Notice something off? Frame your observation as a question or friendly comment.
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- Example for the workplace: “Hey, I noticed you’ve been running a bit late to meetings. Everything okay?”
- Example for community leaders: “You seemed quieter than usual at the last event. Is there something on your mind?”
This approach feels less like a call-out and more like genuine curiosity. It opens the door for dialogue without putting anyone on the defensive.
Step 2: Obvious Opportunity
If the behavior continues, gently point out the pattern. Be specific and highlight how this is an opportunity for growth.
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- Example for managers: “I’ve noticed this has happened a few times now. Let’s talk about how we can work together to fix it.”
- Example for volunteer coordinators: “You’ve missed a couple of sign-ups recently, and I know this isn’t like you. How can I help?”
This step encourages awareness without judgment.
Step 3: Direct Discussion
Now it’s time for a formal conversation. Sit down and connect the individual’s actions to team goals—or even their personal aspirations.
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- Example for team leaders: “When you miss deadlines, it impacts the whole team’s timeline. Let’s figure out how we can avoid this moving forward.”
- Example for nonprofit boards: “The lack of follow-through on this initiative affects our ability to reach the community. How can we ensure this gets back on track?”
This isn’t about blame—it’s about guidance and collaboration.
Step 4: Clear Consequence
If the issue persists, outline a concrete plan with clear actions, timelines, and consequences. Make it collaborative and supportive, but firm.
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- Example for business leaders: “Here’s what we need to see by [date]. I’m here to support you, but it’s on you to take ownership.”
- Example for project managers: “We’ve created a detailed timeline. If the next deadline isn’t met, we’ll need to reassign tasks to ensure completion.”
Avoid micromanaging, but ensure there’s accountability for results.
Step 5: Considerate Change
If improvement still hasn’t occurred, it’s time for a heart-to-heart. Discuss their commitment to the team and give them space to reflect.
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- Example for executives: “Do you see yourself fully committing to this team and what it takes to succeed here?”
- Example for educators: “If this role isn’t aligning with your goals anymore, let’s discuss how we can transition with respect for everyone involved.”
This isn’t an ultimatum—it’s an opportunity for clarity and a path forward, whether that’s renewed commitment or a respectful transition.
Lead By Example
You can’t inspire accountability in others if you’re not modeling it yourself. Accountability starts with you. That means owning your words, actions, and leadership. It means embracing tough conversations and treating everyone with fairness and dignity.
By fostering a culture of trust, communication, and growth-oriented feedback, you can transform accountability from a dreaded necessity into a catalyst for positive change.
So, what’s your next step in inspiring accountability?
Before You Go…
Call to Action:
- Reflect on which step of accountability you need to implement today.
- Start a culture shift by modeling accountability in your leadership.
Quotes for Inspiration:
- “Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to results.” – Bob Proctor
- “Holding someone accountable is an act of belief in their potential, not judgment of their mistakes.”
Resources for Further Learning:
- The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey
- Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
- Article: Are You Leading or Just Giving Orders?
- Article: 10 Ways To Kill Your Team
One More Thing…
If you found this helpful, please pass it along to other leaders (and encourage them to subscribe!).
If you’re ready to accelerate your leadership, I’d be honored to help. Visit gavinadams.com to explore my systemic approach to leadership development and schedule a 30-minute conversation.
If you’re a church leader, be sure to visit the Church Accelerator Community.
Leading With You,
Gavin
