Leadership doesn’t always come with the title “boss.” Some of the most impactful leadership happens in the second chair—supporting someone else’s vision while bringing your own influence to the table.
But let’s be honest: leading up can feel like walking through a minefield. One wrong move, and BOOM—awkward meetings, hurt feelings, or worse, a sudden lesson in how not to talk to your boss.
If you’ve ever thought, “I want to share my ideas, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the risk,” you’re not alone. Most second-chair leaders feel that tension. You want to contribute, but you don’t want to overstep.
Here’s the good news: leading up doesn’t have to feel dangerous. Done right, it can strengthen relationships, spark innovation, and make your entire team better.
Here’s why leading up matters, why it’s hard, and 12 strategies to ensure your ideas don’t just land but actually make an impact.
Why Leading Up Is So Hard (And Why It’s So Important)
Why It’s Hard
To state the obvious, leading up is tricky because you’re not in charge. You’re trying to influence someone with more authority, experience, and probably more on their plate than you do.
This creates real challenges, like:
- Fear of Conflict: Most people would rather listen to a toddler play drums than have a challenging conversation with their boss. I say this with some authority, as one of my children is a drummer!
- Self-Doubt: Ever wondered, “What if my idea isn’t as good as I think?” You’re not alone.
- Timing Issues: Even great ideas flop if pitched incorrectly or at the wrong time.
Why It’s Important
Despite the challenges, every organization needs second-chair leaders to step up. Why? Because your perspective matters.
You see things your leader doesn’t. And no good leader wants to captain a ship where the crew silently watches an iceberg approach (If that’s your boss, find a new boss).
Here’s the secret: great leaders want input. They may not always say it, but they know they’re better when their team challenges them, refines their ideas, and brings fresh perspectives.
Leading up isn’t about overthrowing authority; it’s about partnership—helping the whole team win.
12 Strategies for Leading Up Without Losing Your Cool
I’ll keep these quick, but perhaps we can address some of these in greater detail soon.
1. Build Credibility Through Consistency
Want to be heard? Be reliable. Show up, do your job, and exceed expectations. People trust advice from someone who’s already proven they can deliver.
2. Align Your Goals with the Vision
Don’t pitch ideas that feel like side quests. Frame your feedback around how it moves the mission forward. When your ideas align with the bigger picture, they’re harder to ignore.
3. Choose the Right Timing and Setting
Timing is everything. For example, don’t bring up sensitive topics when your leader is rushing out the door. Choose a calm moment for a private conversation when they can focus. Consider scheduling a one-on-one meeting in advance.
4. Lead with Questions, Not Statements
Nobody likes a know-it-all, but everyone appreciates a thoughtful question. Try asking, “What’s your take on this?” or “Have we considered X?” Questions show respect and invite collaboration.
5. Offer Solutions, Not Just Problems
If you bring up an issue, bring potential solutions, too. Leaders have enough problems. Be the person who lightens the load. And offer your help to solve it.
6. Anticipate and Address Pushback
Great ideas often face resistance. Think ahead: What objections might your leader have? How can you respond respectfully and with data to back you up?
7. Invest in the Relationship
Relationships are the currency of influence. Take time to build trust. Grab coffee, share appreciation, and celebrate your leader’s wins. Trust is the currency of leadership.
8. Know When to Push and When to Pause
Sometimes, the best move is to step back. If your leader isn’t ready, don’t burn bridges. Wait for a better moment to revisit the idea. What feels important to you may not be important to the greater organization at the moment.
9. Communicate with Humility and Respect
Phrases like, “I could be wrong, but…” or “From my perspective…” go a long way. Humility doesn’t weaken your voice—it strengthens your influence.
10. Be Patient and Persistent
Not every idea gets greenlit right away. That’s okay. Stay consistent, keep delivering value, and don’t let one “no” discourage you.
11. Clarify Non-Negotiables
If the issue involves ethics or mission, don’t stay silent. Speak up with courage and clarity, but always with respect.
12. Focus on the Long Game
Leadership isn’t about instant wins; it’s about lasting impact. Keep adding value, and your influence will grow over time.
Conclusion: Leadership Happens in Every Chair
Leadership isn’t about titles or positions—it’s about showing up, speaking up, and stepping up, no matter where you sit. Leadership is influence; therefore, we all have it.
If you’re a second-chair leader, your voice matters more than you realize. Your insights, perspective, and influence can help your team and organization thrive.
So, what’s your next move? Pick one strategy from this list and try it this week. Leading up takes courage, patience, and finesse, but the payoff is worth it. Because when you lead up well, you don’t just grow your influence—you help everyone win.
Now go lead up—and maybe avoid awkward HR meetings while you’re at it.
Call to Action:
- Ready to take your leadership to the next level? Visit GavinAdams.com for coaching resources and tools.
- If you’re a church leader, check out the Church Accelerator content, resources, and consulting options today!
Quotes for Inspiration:
- “Leadership isn’t about authority; it’s about influence.”
- “Great leaders listen—and even better leaders act on what they hear.”
Resources for Further Learning:
- Book Recommendation: The 360° Leader by John Maxwell.
- Article: How to Manage Up Without Overstepping.
One More Thing…
If you found this helpful, please pass it along to other leaders (and encourage them to subscribe!).
If you’re ready to accelerate your leadership, I’d be honored to help. Visit gavinadams.com to explore my systemic approach to leadership development and schedule a 30-minute conversation.
If you’re a church leader, be sure to visit the Church Accelerator site for resources and consulting opportunities.
Leading With You,
Dr. Gavin Adams