If you’re leading in any capacity, chances are you regularly face personal growth opportunities—whether you’re ready for them or not.
That’s a nice way of saying we’ve all got issues.
These moments can appear obvious, like a giant flashing sign saying, “This is your next step.” But more often, they sneak up on us, leaving us blindsided and scrambling to keep up. Even when we do recognize them, implementing the lessons can feel like trying to walk up a down escalator. Exhausting, right?
The hardest part about personal growth isn’t identifying areas where you need to grow. Most of us can spot our own gaps a mile away. The real challenge is pushing through the setbacks, especially when you keep trying to put those lessons into practice—and keep failing.
If you’ve been there, you’re not alone.
A Hard Lesson From My Own Leadership Journey
Let me share a story from my leadership experience that highlights this exact challenge.
About halfway through my time leading Woodstock City Church, I took a moment to step back from my role and reflect on some personal challenges that were affecting how I led. Like many of us, I had tied my self-worth to my role. When I was doing well, I felt great. When things weren’t going well? Doubt crept in. If you’re nodding your head, you know this is Leadership Identity 101. But even knowing that doesn’t make it easy to escape.
When I returned, I focused on separating my identity from my work. And for about a week, I felt like I had nailed it. Then, as if on cue, I stumbled. “Didn’t I already learn this?” I thought. “I should be past this!” The disappointment hit hard.
Here’s the truth I’ve learned over and over again: leadership growth isn’t linear, and it doesn’t come easy.
Breaking the Cycle of Leadership Frustration
We’ve all been there. You learn something new, give it a try, fail, and then consider throwing in the towel. How do you break that frustrating cycle?
Here are five steps that have helped me—and might help you, too.
1. Embrace Every New Learning as Truly NEW
If you’ve identified an area for growth, remind yourself that real growth takes time. No process is free of setbacks. Don’t expect to master it overnight. When you fall short (and you will), don’t be discouraged. It’s part of the journey.
2. Set Small, Achievable Goals for Growth
Instead of aiming for perfection, create small, manageable goals. In my case, I focused on recognizing when I was attaching my identity to my performance. My goal wasn’t to stop it immediately but to become more aware. These small wins kept me moving forward without getting overwhelmed.
3. Accept That You’ll Get It Wrong (A Lot)
And that’s perfectly okay! Give yourself grace every time you fall short. Real leadership growth involves uprooting deeply ingrained habits, which takes time. Each mistake is a reminder that progress is a process, not a one-time event.
4. Bring Others Into Your Growth Journey
Growth happens faster when you involve others. Whether it’s peers, mentors, or even your team, sharing what you’re working on provides accountability and encouragement. And if you can’t be open with those around you, it might be time to rethink your environment.
5. Don’t Rush to Tie Everything Up With a Neat Bow
The truth is, most of our deepest leadership struggles are connected to deeply embedded habits. They don’t dislodge easily—if ever. Be prepared to revisit and relearn the same lesson again and again. And that’s okay.
The Truth About Leadership Growth
Here’s the irony: when I help other leaders navigate new challenges, I walk them through these exact steps—acknowledging that growth takes time, setting small goals, offering grace, and reminding them the process is never finished. Yet, I’m terrible at giving myself the same grace. Sound familiar?
So here’s a reminder for all of us: give yourself a break. Leadership is tough work, and personal growth is even tougher. The fruit is found not in perfection but in the process.
Call to Action:
Ready to embrace a healthier approach to leadership growth? Start by identifying one area for growth, set a small goal, and bring others into your journey. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you give yourself the grace you deserve.
Quotes:
- “Personal growth isn’t an event; it’s a process.”
- “Small goals lead to big wins over time.”
- “The greatest leadership challenge is often the one we face within ourselves.”
Resources for Further Learning:
- Book Recommendation: Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
- Podcast: The Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast
- Article: How to Lead When You’re Struggling with Self-Doubt
One More Thing…
Leading With You,