I meet with two second-chair leaders from a manufacturing organization at a local Chick-fil-A twice a month. Without fail, around 9:45 a.m., the store manager takes his usual seat in the corner of the dining room, opens his laptop, and starts working on something—at least, I assume it’s work. For all I know, he could be playing Solitaire.
But here’s the fascinating part: Like clockwork, the employees stop by his table, one by one. They’re not talking about work. Some share weekend stories and others show him pictures on their phones. What they’re really looking for isn’t feedback on their performance; they’re looking for something else.
The Power of Connection
When I led Woodstock City Church, I noticed something similar. Staff would poke their heads into my office just to “say hey” or discuss the weekend game. I found it odd, even annoying, at times. And it wasn’t just staff members—volunteers and church attendees would stop me for small talk when I was in public.
At the time, I brushed it off. Who has time for chit-chat when there’s real work to be done?
Shifting Perspectives: Connection Matters
A friend once asked if I noticed how often people dropped by to talk. I quickly said, “Yes, it happens all the time, and I wish they’d stop!” My friend offered a perspective that changed everything: “They just want to connect with you.”
That made me pause. Why would they want to connect? And then it hit me. They weren’t bothering me without reason. They wanted to build a relationship with their leader, just like I found myself doing when I worked with Andy Stanley. I’d say hello and try to engage him, even though I was about to spend two hours meeting him. I realized I was seeking connection just like others were with me.
Why Great Leaders Seek Connection on Purpose
John Maxwell says, “Leadership is influence.” While positional authority offers a degree of influence, relational influence holds far more power. The deeper your connection with people, the more influence you gain.
But how do you intentionally create these relational connections? Here are five practical ways to connect on purpose.
1. Schedule Time to Pop Into Other Offices
Once I recognized the importance of connection, I blocked time in my calendar to walk around and pop into other offices. At first, the staff was confused, wondering why I was stopping by with no agenda. Over time, though, they realized I just wanted to connect.
2. Walk Slowly Through Crowds
I didn’t come up with this one, but it’s solid advice. If you’re a task-oriented leader, slow down around people. Make eye contact, say hello, and create space for small talk. It goes a long way.
3. Appreciate Your Team’s Desire to Connect
It’s easy to be annoyed by the pop-ins and interruptions. But once you see them for what they are—opportunities to build relational influence—you’ll start welcoming these moments. Every interaction is a chance to grow your influence.
4. Don’t Create Connection Cliques
Naturally, you’ll like some people more than others. That’s normal, but it can be dangerous. Make sure every team member feels valued and connected, not just your favorites.
5. Prioritize Relational Experiences
Retreats, team-building activities, and casual lunches might seem like luxuries, but they’re essential. Getting away from the day-to-day grind and having fun together strengthens relationships and, by extension, your leadership.
Turn Connection Into a Goal
For leaders like me, who are more process-driven, it’s helpful to schedule connection-building activities. You might think of it as another project to manage, but remember: Without people, there are no results. Take the time to build those connections, and watch how your influence grows.
Call to Action:
Building strong relationships within your team isn’t just nice; it’s critical to your leadership success. Start making connection a priority today and see how it transforms your influence.
Quotes for Inspiration:
- “Leadership is influence.” – John Maxwell
- “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Resources for Further Learning:
- Developing the Leader Within You by John C. Maxwell
- Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John C. Maxwell
One More Thing…
If you found this helpful, please pass it along to other leaders (and encourage them to subscribe!).
If you’re ready to accelerate your leadership, I’d be honored to help. Visit gavinadams.com to explore my systemic approach to leadership development and schedule a 30-minute conversation.
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Leading With You,