The Battle Within
Leadership is often more of an internal war than an external battle.
When we talk about leadership, the conversation usually revolves around external challenges—hitting targets, managing teams, or driving change. But here’s the truth that doesn’t get enough airplay: The toughest battles a leader faces aren’t fought in boardrooms or on the frontlines. The real fight is within. It’s the silent, relentless war waged in the mind and heart of every leader.
Leadership Is About Mastering Yourself
Leadership isn’t just about managing others; it’s about mastering yourself. And that’s where the real challenge lies. If you’ve ever found yourself caught between confidence and self-doubt, control and delegation, or curiosity and fear, this post is for you.
Let’s consider three typical battles leaders like us face:
1. Confidence vs. Self-Doubt: The Jekyll and Hyde of Leadership
Let’s start with the most prevalent struggle: confidence vs. self-doubt. One minute, you’re on top of the world, sure of your decisions and direction. The next, you’re questioning every move, second-guessing yourself into a spiral of uncertainty.
Sound familiar?
This isn’t a sign of weak leadership; it’s the reality of leading. Even the best leaders—those we admire and aspire to be—face this internal tug-of-war. The key isn’t to eliminate self-doubt (spoiler: you can’t) but to manage it. How? By remembering your wins, no matter how small, and leaning into a growth mindset.
Remember: Leadership isn’t about being flawless; it’s about being relentless in your pursuit of improvement.
Application Question: What situations tend to create the most self-doubt for you?
2. Control vs. Delegation: The Tightrope Every Leader Walks
We’ve all been there—caught between the need to ensure everything’s done “right” (which, of course, is our way) and the reality that we can’t do it all ourselves. Here’s the hard truth: Trying to control everything is a fast track to burnout for you and an exodus of your team.
Delegation isn’t just a leadership skill; it’s a survival tactic and a key leadership development tool.
Trusting your team, empowering them to take ownership, and letting go of the reins—these aren’t signs of weakness; they’re evidence of wisdom. The more you delegate, the more you’ll find that your role as a leader is less about doing and more about guiding.
Application Question: What are you doing today that you should delegate tomorrow?
3. Curiosity vs. Fear: The Fork in the Leadership Road
Then there’s the struggle to stay curious in the face of uncertainty. Leadership often feels like a high-stakes game, with the pressure to deliver results tempting us to stick with what we know. But here’s the thing: curiosity is what drives innovation. It’s the lifeblood of progress.
Every leader wants more innovation, but too many leaders fail to understand how curiosity paves the way.
Fear can be a formidable opponent. It whispers that sticking to the status quo is safer and that exploring new ideas is risky. If we let fear dictate our leadership, we’re not leading; we’re merely managing the decline. The leaders who make the biggest impact are the ones who remain curious—who dare to ask questions, explore possibilities, listen to others, accept reality, and push boundaries, even when the outcome is uncertain.
Application Question: Where do you find yourself resisting curiosity the most?
Winning the Battle: The Power of Self-Awareness
So, how do we win these internal battles? It all starts with self-awareness. You can’t address what you can’t name. Understanding your internal struggles—the ones that hold you back and the ones that push you forward—is the first step toward mastering them.
Be honest with yourself. Acknowledging your fears, doubts, and control tendencies is the first step to owning them and moving past them. If you’re unsure of your internal battles, ask. Ask your peers. Your boss. Your direct reports. Your spouse. Your friends. I can almost guarantee you that they know.
Conclusion: The True Test of Leadership
Leaders cannot win the organizational leadership battle if they don’t first fight the war within. The real leaders, the ones who inspire, innovate, and lead their teams forward, are those who have learned to navigate their internal conflicts with courage and curiosity.
Here’s the challenge:
Don’t shy away from the battle within. Embrace it. Face it with the same determination you bring to external challenges. The victory that really matters isn’t the one others see—it’s the one you win when you choose to lead yourself well.
Call to Action:
If you’re struggling with internal leadership battles, do something about it. Start by reflecting on these challenges, and consider seeking external support to guide you. Visit gavinadams.com to learn more about my leadership coaching services.
Quotes for Inspiration:
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- “Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” – Lao Tzu
- “The only limits to our realization of tomorrow are our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
- “Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.” – William Arthur Ward
Resources for Further Learning:
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- “Dare to Lead” by Brené Brown
- “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield
- “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” by Daniel H. Pink
- Certainty vs. Clarity: How Effective Leaders Navigate the Difference
One More Thing…
If you found this helpful, please pass it along to anyone in your circle of influence who would benefit from it. Most leaders are overwhelmed with daily tasks, leaving little time for innovation, creativity, and strategic growth. Check out gavinadams.com for more information.
I offer systemic coaching and organizational consulting for leaders like you.
And, if you are a church leader, visit the Church Accelerator Community: Coaching, community, and content to help you work on your church, not just in your church.
